Wow. I’m speechless as I finish my last full semester at Lake Area Tech. This spring semester has been SO emotional and a tough one on not only myself but also my classmates. At first I didn’t know that it was harder on my classmates as well. I’m going to be honest with you guys. I am a TERRIBLE online student. It works for some people (major props to them), but it’s just not for me. This semester has shook be to the core, knocked me down, and feel more overwhelmed than I ever have with school. I was managing 5 full classes online along with closing Buffalo Wild Wings 3-4 nights a week. I would go to work at 5:30 and be off sometimes between 12:30 and 1:00am. I would then go home and stay awake until 4 or 5am doing homework. It worked well for me because I was the only one awake. My roommates were sleeping, I wasn’t getting texts or snapchats. I was truly distraction free. I had a system down and it was working for me.
As I made it a point to get up to the school when I needed extra help, I would see my classmates in passing and ask them how things were going and if this semester was significantly tougher on them as well and they said it was (keep in mind this was all BEFORE COVID-19). That made me feel a little better knowing I wasn’t the only one struggling.
About mid-March, I started my internship at Mustang Seeds. While being there I have learned SO much about business operations and agriculture! Now your next thoughts probably include, “why are you graduating with two business degrees and trying to go into ag???” My answer is, it’s what makes me happy. When I started college I didn’t know what I wanted to do exactly so I picked a broad category and hoped for the best. While I never took FFA classes in high school, I always loved visiting my Grandpa Buysse’s farm and wish I was there more often.
We intended my internship to go through August and then figure things out from there, but due to the cancellations of farm shows and events we have decided to end my internship early, at the end of May, because there simply just isn’t work for me to do. I am very thankful for my time at Mustang Seeds and the fact that they still took interns under their wing in such unknown times. Many of my classmates had their internships cancelled and had to find new ones. I’m very fortunate for the opportunities given to me.
This week was one of the hardest on me though. People would ask me if I was sad about graduation being cancelled and I would answer, no I didn’t want to walk, my mom was just making me. Deep down as this week rolled around though I’m sad that I’m not walking. This was supposed to be a time I could see my classmates before we truly all move our separate ways. We’ve became very close over the last two years, from entering in the fall as brand new first years to waking up super early and heading to our summer classes, we were truly through it all together. What made me really sad though was Monday morning I was getting ready for work and scrolling through Facebook, there was a post from the LATI student activities page congratulating students on making it to graduation week and to hang in there and finish strong. That’s when it hit me. I was instantly sad and missed all my friends and classmates. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We worked hard for these moments and they were taken away from not only us but every other person that was planning to walk across the stage in May whether they be high school, or college students.
As we venture out looking for jobs, we are moving in all separate directions, a lot of us aren’t able to stick to our original plans and that is very scary for some of us. I am the type of person who likes to know what my future holds and for me not knowing that makes me nervous. I know it will all work out but not knowing is scary for me. I am becoming more okay and understanding as days go by and an excited to see where life takes me.